Victoria’s Natural Hospital Birth

The days leading up to Luke's birthday were absolutely miserable. I went to see my midwife at 40+1 (Sept 26) and we discussed a plan of action. She told me I could have the baby any day other than Tuesday, September 29 – she would be at the office’s satellite clinic that day. Fast forward to Monday the 28th…I was swollen and officially 3 days past my due date (what can I say, both of my kids get this "always late" trait from me). I walked Hobby Lobby and the mall for hours. I ate a whole pineapple. I drank a 6 pack of pineapple juice. I had reached the 'time to YouTube a csection' point of being pregnant. When labor didn’t start that evening, I decided to rest. I needed to keep baby in the next day so that my midwife could deliver him. I took a bath and lay down. Surely I could keep him in one more day.

HA!

I woke up at 4 am to steady contractions, about 6-7 minutes apart. I knew it was going to happen today. THE ONE DAY MY MIDWIFE COULDN’T DELIVER HIM, it was destined to happen lol! I crept out of the bed without waking Bill or Cambria and got into the bath. I was hoping the water would stall my contractions, but no such luck. I labored quietly and calmly in the tub for about an hour until Bill woke up for work, breathing through the contractions and resting in between. The first labor contractions are so comforting. They are so bearable, yet enough to know that you will be meeting your baby SO soon! I told him he should probably call off, because I was pretty sure today was the day.

I text my mom and midwife, Sylvia, to let them know what was going on. Mom said she would be on her way – she was going to watch Cambria and get her to school that day. Sylvia confirmed the news that she was most likely going to miss the birth unless labor kicked in strong and fast or stalled till later that evening. She told me the doctor on call was one who visited me during one of my hospital stays earlier in the pregnancy. At least I would know the guy delivering my baby? I was so heartbroken that she was going to miss it. By the time we woke Cambria up to tell her that baby was going to be here today, my contractions were stronger and coming about 3-5 minutes apart. I had to stop walking during these ones and Sylvia said we should head to the hospital soon. While Bill loaded the car, Cambria and I colored a picture and I enjoyed those last few minutes of her being my only baby.

Today was going to be a good day.

Part I

The drive to the hospital while in labor is always a fun one! Said no laboring mom, ever.

We had about a 20 minute drive, which seemed like forever. Laboring in the front seat of a Ford Focus is not the way to do it, ladies. My contractions were picking up in frequency and strength. They were coming about 2 minutes apart during our drive and they were really starting to hurt. I let my doula and photographer know that we were en route to the hospital and let them know to meet me there ASAP. I had myself convinced that I would be walking in the doors at an 8 and pushing this watermelon out within 5 minutes. After all, I had labored at home for 4 hours by this point and the contractions were so close together. My contraction app said IT WAS GO TIME! Silly, silly, Victoria.

We get checked in and assigned a room. 405! It was open! This was the only room at St. Elizabeth’s that had a labor tub. Sylvia had called ahead and told them to expect me that morning so they held the room for me. (See why midwives rock?!) She knew how important laboring in the water was to my birth plan, and even though she couldn’t be there, she did everything she could to make sure I got the birth I wanted. We got to our room and met our first nurse. I had prepared goodie bags for all the nurses during our stay that included a copy of the birth plan, some little knickknacks from Target’s Dollar Spot, and candy.

Everyone that entered the room was given a copy of the birth plan. Call me crazy, but I was determined to give birth med-free this time. I spent a long time typing up my birth plan and narrowing it down to two pages of things that were important to me. Many people will tell you not to worry about a birth plan because labor has a mind of its own. While that is SO true, I felt it to be extremely important to be able to convey my wishes on paper to everyone who would be coming in contact with us during our stay. My birth plan included how I wanted to be treated during early labor, active labor, my wishes should I need an emergency c-section, postpartum time, and what I did/did not want done with baby. No one was to offer pain meds or mention the ‘E’ word, under any circumstance. The nurses confirmed I was not a crazy person and my birth plan definitely wasn’t the most obnoxious one they’ve seen. (They could have been lying)

Once we got settled into the room, I eagerly consented to a dilation check. I was SO confident that we were almost at active labor. I thought I would be pushing within a few hours of arriving at the hospital. When the nurse looked at me and said, “I’m so sorry hunny, you’re only at a 3,” I was stunned. There was no way. She told me to get up and walk around and they would check me in 2 hours. 2 HOURS?! I THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE MY BABY BY THEN! My body had been working so hard, how was I only dilated to a 3? My photographer and doula arrived shortly after we did and I shared the news that it wasn’t going to be as speedy of a day as I originally thought. I kept telling myself that it would be okay, that my body knew what to do and when to do it.

I threw on my robe, stood up with Bill and the crew (Kerri – my doula, and Cassy – my birth photographer)… and we walked. For 2 hours we paced the hospital halls. We would come take a break in the room and I would bounce on the birthing ball then head back out into the hall to walk. Cassy captured this time perfectly. Leaning against the walls in the hallway, relaxing into Bill in the room, Kerri coaching me to lift my belly into the contractions.

This was such a transient time for me. I was so discouraged that I was progressing so slowly, but Bill, Kerri, and Cassy kept telling me how great I was doing. At this point, I was laughing between contractions. Bill was cracking us all up with his name suggestions (we had not chosen a name for baby yet) and it really ended up being my favorite part of this labor. Everyone was in such a positive, supportive mood and the contractions (which had lessened) became more powerful and I knew it meant the baby was going to be born today. I came out of my funk pretty quickly and knew that I had to focus and enjoy this part, because there was obviously WAY harder work ahead.

The nurse returned and checked me, I had progressed to a 4 and they were going to admit me! WE WERE HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!!!!

Part II

As soon as the nurse confirmed that I would be staying and having the baby, a wave of relief rushed over me. It was almost over. Even if it meant another 24 hours of labor, it was actually happening. We would be holding our son in our arms soon. The nurse put the monitors on me for a few minutes to check on baby and make sure he seemed okay. He was doing perfect! One of thing I wanted to be able to do was move freely during my labor and not be hooked up to monitors the entire time. The nurses agreed that it would be totally fine to do that and they would just come in every once in a while to check his heart rate/etc. I did not want to labor in the bed! Everything was going exactly how I pictured it would.

The first thing I wanted to do after they finished the admission process was to get in the tub. Oh, how I yearned for that warm water while I was walking the halls and during the 20 minutes they had me on the monitors. I needed a break and some relief.

If y’all have not labored in water before, you are missing out. I felt weightless and was able to really relax. Yes, the contractions still sucked and I could definitely feel them, but the warm water calmed me down and helped me relax SO MUCH.

I had reached the point where I did not want to speak or hear anyone talking, really. I put my birth playlist on, which was basically a classical station on shuffle, and really started to concentrate. Bill held my hand while I leaned over the side of the tub and rubbed cool washcloths over my face. Kerri held my water bottle and lifted the straw to my mouth when I was unable to do so. Cassy kept telling me how strong I was. The three of them carried me through the end of early labor. I spent most of my time in the tub squatting, leaning over the edge. The contractions were starting to come on top of each other and there wasn’t too much time between them to relax. I can’t imagine doing this part out of the water. Even though the pain was intensifying, I was still completely confident in myself that I could do this. I moaned and breathed through the contractions and everyone thought I had to be nearing the finishing point. My doula called for the nurse/dr to come check to see if I needed to get out of the water. (While St. E’s does have a labor tub, you are not allowed to deliver in it.)

Dr. Covlin came in and checked me while I stood in the tub. Standing up from a squat when you are 29348 months pregnant and sopping wet and in labor is THE WORST. When he finished checking me, blood poured into the water. I cried from the pain and I think that is when it really hit me that this shit was about to get rough. He told everyone to get me out of the water so they could get me on the monitors ASAP. I thought maybe it meant I was going to be delivering soon?

The room got quiet when he said, “She’s only at a five…”

Part III

Fairly certain I was sobbing at this point. I didn’t want to leave the water. They had to drain the tub before I got out. The water seemed to add 100 pounds to me once it was drained. I was basically deadweight when I tried to stand. My knees couldn’t hold my body up and Bill, Kerri, and my nurse had to get me out of the tub. My contractions became crippling at this point. I cried out and thought, ‘What the hell was I thinking? Why am I not in that bed relaxing with an epidural, smiling and giggling, waiting for the baby to get here?’ I kept reminding myself that everything had to be okay. My body knew what to do. EVERY contraction that finishes means one less. My baby would be here soon. They told me once they were able to get good vitals on baby I could come back to the tub.

After I got out of the tub, time seemed to blur. My team helped me over to the side of the bed, I could no longer walk on my own. I refused to sit in the bed. There was no way I was lifting myself up there. I want to say I labored on the side of that hospital bed on the birthing ball for another hour or so. Could have been 15 minutes, could have been three hours. Once I was out of the tub, I lost all sense of time. Everything seemed like an eternity.

I rocked back and forth on the ball with Bill on my right and Kerri on my left. They held my hand and stroked my hair while I cried and moaned. Bill constantly reminded me of how great I was doing and that I COULD DO IT! Kerri reassured me that the pain was normal and that meant we were that much closer to meeting this baby. Once I got comfortable on the ball, I had monitors set up to keep track of the baby's vitals.

“We have to get her in the bed.”

Dr. Covlin and the nurses kept telling me they needed to check me again. I don’t remember much from this part other than just sobbing, “NO!” between contractions. This is what makes me think maybe I was only on the ball for a few minutes after I got out of the water when they saw the bleeding because everything seemed really rushed after that. They couldn’t keep the baby on the monitors with me constantly rolling on the birthing ball. They repeatedly said I wouldn’t have to stay in the bed, but they needed me to get up there ASAP to check, then I could get back down on the ball or do whatever else I needed to do.

I screamed out in pain as I stood up and William, Kerri, and the nurse helped me lift my body on to the bed. The ‘breaks’ between my contractions were starting to disappear. I swore I was nearing transition. The pain was constant and even moaning and breathing through the contractions weren’t helping. My water had not broken by this time, but I did make it clear in the birth plan that I would not consent to them breaking my waters artificially. I wanted it to break on its own or deliver my baby in the caul.

I got into the bed and they were able to get a good check of baby’s vitals. Still at a 5, maybe a six? I sat straight up against the back of the bed for like, ever. Crying and breathing through the unimaginable pain that my contractions had become. I can't only be half way there. I had to remain still for 20 minutes on the monitor so they could make sure baby was not in distress.

After the 20 minutes was up, the nurse agreed it was okay for me to move around again. But the thought of lifting myself off the bed now was a funny joke. I was staying on the bed and no one was going to move me. I did know that laboring on your back can be counterproductive, so my doula and I decided hands and knees would be a good position to try laboring in to help the baby drop. I made it about half way there and stopped once I was facing the back of the hospital bed. I draped my arms over the back of the bed and I wasn’t moving any further.

I had found my spot. I’m not going to use the word comfortable, because nothing at this point is even near that word. But I had found a position that didn’t make me feel like I wanted to grab a scalpel and cut this kid out myself. I labored like this for who knows how long till I felt something trickle down my leg with a particularly strong contraction.

MY WATER FINALLY BROKE! I felt it! For a minute, all this energy rushed back to me and I found a second wind. I yelled excitedly to everyone (I couldn’t see anyone, they were all behind me since I was facing the back of the bed/wall) that I just felt my water broke. I was waiting for cheers of encouragement and excitement. Nothing.

I felt another gush with the next contraction. MORE WATER! WOOOO!!! I leaned into the bed through the contraction and said, “Guys, my water just broke again!” Silence again. Why weren’t they excited?

Then I heard someone shout to go get Dr. Covlin right away.

Part IIII does not have a picture to go with it. This part of the story is one of the scariest hours of my life.

Dr. Colvin quickly came into the room. I was still facing backwards with my arms draped over the back of the bed. My water kept breaking. I kept feeling gushes down my leg. Everyone had become very quiet and I heard worried mumbling between Kerri, Cassy, and the nurse (maybe multiple nurses at this point, I’m not sure). I remember hearing the doctor tell everyone that I had to flip over. What the hell is going on? No one is telling me anything and I am just excited that my freakin’ water finally broke.

I don’t remember if it was Bill or Kerri who finally came around to the top of the bed where I was leaning over and told me that yes, my water had certainly broke, but it was green. There was meconium staining and the baby had already had his first bowel movement. I was also told that all the subsequent gushes were definitely NOT my water, they were actually blood.

Here I am excited about my water breaking and I am hemorrhaging. They could not make the blood stop coming. A panic fell upon the room unlike anything I can describe. (in retrospect, I'm sure the doctor and nurses weren't panicked, this is what they do for a living. Everyone else certainly was panicking though.) I was physically unable to turn myself over to my back, so the nurses and Bill had to flip me over. I was terrified and in so much pain. I kept thinking, this is it. My baby is dead. I am bleeding and he is dead. All I could do was scream. I just kept screaming. No moaning, no breathing, just a high pitch screech. Picture Reagan from The Exorcist. That was me. Pretty sure everyone in the room was waiting for my head to do a 360.

They somehow managed to get me on my back and check to see if I was complete so I could start pushing. I was only at a 7. A seven and my baby had to come out now. A baby can’t stay in if there is sign of meconium staining. A baby can’t stay in if mom is hemorrhaging. I knew what was coming, everyone in that room did. Just say it, Dr. Covlin. Just say it and let’s get this shit over with. Wheel me off, I know what comes next. The OR. C-Section. I was waiting for my birth plan to be quickly torn to shreds.

The rest is one giant blur. This is what I refer to as the ‘I can’t do it’ phase of birth. During most unmedicated births, women reach a point during transition where they literally say the words “I can’t do it” or something along those lines. Its instinct and its crazy and I read about it in countless birth stories. When I began to cry that I couldn’t do it, Kerri quickly reminded me that I was seriously so close to the end. I have no idea how much time passed or how long I pushed for. All I know is I am so grateful that Dr. Covlin was on call that day. God puts people in the places they need to be at the right times, and there is a reason he was the OB on call. After the meconium and hemorrhaging, almost any OB would decide on an emergency C-Section, especially if mom isn’t fully dilated.

So while I convinced myself that I was about to be wheeled away to the OR, Dr. Covlin said ‘Victoria, you can do this!’ Maybe I imagined him saying that, or maybe it was someone else telling me, but I like to think it was him lol. He believed in me. He knew how important it was to me to have a natural birth. He coached everyone in the room through the most intense portion of my birth. I remember the giant cart being wheeled in. The stirrups going up. (I originally requested no stirrups be used during delivery, but this crazy man was going to let me try to deliver vaginally instead of rushing me off to a c-section, so I asked no questions lol) The giant overhead light turning on. The postpartum nurses coming in. The ped nurse coming in. It was go time. There was no turning back. I was going to push our son out and we were going to meet him.

My body was in complete control over me. I don’t think I did any coached pushing (Kerri, Bill – correct me if I am wrong) I think my body did it all for me. I had myself really worked up that laboring would be the easy part and pushing would be the hard part. I had it backwards. Once I was able to start pushing, it was like this animal instinct came out and took over. I pushed for however long (not a really long time, I know that much) and I felt the infamous ring of fire. OMG. MY BABY WAS ALMOST HERE!!!!!!!!! He crowned and everyone shouted that they could see his head. Bill was up by my head, still holding my hand. Kerri was holding a leg and getting a front row view of the whole process lol. We were so close. I was laying down screaming and pushing and I heard Dr. Covlin yell for Bill to come up by him. I just thought he was going to let Bill catch the baby.

I thought we were out of the clear.

Then my body shut down. It had enough. I couldn’t push. Chaos ensued for the next few minutes. What was going on? He was almost out! His head was literally out. Why can I not push. COME ON, BODY, WHAT THE HELL???? I tried with every fiber of my being to push, to bear down, anything! Nothing. I just couldn’t do it. Time seemed to stand still. People were running around the room, everyone was shouting at me to push and I just lay there frozen.

One nurse came up to my face. She screamed at me, “Victoria! You have to deliver your son. You have to push. NOW!” It was as if someone flipped a switch. I snapped out of whatever stupor I was in and BAM! I pushed his shoulders out and the rest of his little body followed suit. At 2:34 PM, our baby was born. He came out blue with the cord wrapped around his neck. I kept saying, “Is he okay? Is he okay? Is my baby okay?” for what seemed like a lifetime. Within a minute or so, the doctor got the cord unwrapped, he was crying, and Bill lifted our son to my chest.

I did it. I freakin’ did it. WE did it! I couldn’t have done it without the amazing help and support of William Flynn, Kerri, Cassandra, the kick-ass nurses, and the AMAZING OB, Dr. Covlin.

Happy birthday, Lucas James Flynn. You are so loved. I don’t know how we did life without you.