Tiffany’s Birth Center Birth

It was 4am on December 30th, 2015. I was woken up by a mild cramp in my uterus. Weird, but I was almost 40 weeks, so it wasn’t super surprising. I had been having TONS of Braxton hicks from about 30 weeks until now. This one, however was a little different. It was low. Almost like a menstrual cramp. Different from The Braxton hicks I had always felt in my entire uterus. I went back to sleep. I was awoken again at 5am with the same feeling. I tried to go to the bathroom—nothing. The crampiness just kind of lingered for about 30 minutes. Finally, I woke my husband Josh up and told him that these may be contractions that I’m feeling. We were trying not to get too excited, as we knew that this would likely be a long road. I was, after all, a first time mom. We knew that these contractions or “cramp-ies” really didn’t mean much, except that my body was doing what it was supposed to be doing—ramping up for labor. It was hard to not get excited—we were going to be meeting our sweet boy for the first time soon!!

When I found out I was pregnant, I was SHOCKED. As a matter of fact, shocked doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt. I still remember that crazy gut reaction I had when I looked at the test. It hadn’t even been 30 seconds and it was BLARING positive. We weren’t trying, but we weren’t NOT trying if you know what I mean. I ran out to our tiny living room, and my husband was on the phone—he hung up and I told him the news. He was just as shocked as I was! It’s crazy how the universe gives you exactly what you need, even when you don’t know that you need it. I was about 6 weeks pregnant when I woke up one morning and used the restroom. I noticed when I wiped that there was a little bit of blood on the paper. Now, as a nurse, I know that this happens sometimes in early pregnancy---but there is something that hits different when it’s your own baby! My tiny, newly pregnant mom brain was unraveling. I called my provider, who was my normal OB, as soon as they opened. At this point in my pregnancy, there wasn’t much that they could do except to have me come in for blood work. We went in for our blood work and luckily we were able to get our results within a few hours. My levels were right around where they should be, but they wanted me to get an ultrasound at my first appointment that was 2 weeks away. The bleeding continued for around 6 hours and subsided as the evening drew on. Those 2 weeks were some of the longest in my life! I consistently took pregnancy tests to make sure that I was still pregnant. I was so anxious, it was hard for me to sleep, hard for me to eat, just hard for me to function. I had never been so anxious in my entire life. What was worse, was knowing that there was literally nothing that I could do about it. I just had to wait and trust and know that what would be, would be.

Finally, the day of my appointment came. I had been there a couple of times before for myself, but this was a BUSY office. We waited around 1.5 hours to be seen. My husband was unable to come with me for the first appointment, due to his work schedule, but thankfully my mom was able to come. We were called back to an office with a nurse in it. We sat for about 30 minutes answering TONS of questions. “When was the first day of your last period, do you smoke/drink/do drugs, what’s your diet like, etc”. Of course, I had never been pregnant before, so I had no idea what this first appointment would entail. But, I was so surprised that my bleeding hadn’t been brought up yet. I hadn’t even been asked how I was doing or feeling, which at this point, the nausea/exhaustion had set in (which actually, was welcomed with open arms because both are signs of a healthy pregnancy! After the appointment with the nurse, and another 45 minute wait, the ultrasound technician came to get me for my ultrasound. I was so nervous. The ultrasound tech didn’t seem like she was in a very good mood that day. She huffed and puffed and she gave me instructions to leave a urine sample in the bathroom and disrobe. As I got on the table, I had gotten my phone out to record the ultrasound since Josh couldn’t be with me—I don’t think I had ever seen anyone get so bent out of shape before! She had barked at me that “there is no recording allowed”. “Wow, really?” I said. “sorry, my husband wasn’t able to make it, so I wanted him to be able to see the ultrasound”. She pointed to a sign that said the same thing on the back of the door, and said “I don’t make the rules”--she proceeded to inserted the ultrasound probe (which again, no one told me about!!!!). As she moved around, I started to notice her passing this little blob. I asked “is that my baby?”. She answered yes and zoomed in on that tiny little thing. I have to tell you, for a tiny little 0.5 inch blob on the screen, it was the most amazing, beautiful little blob I had ever seen in my life. It was surreal—I had a tiny, little blob of a baby growing inside of me. I couldn’t believe it. Just as soon as I saw the blob, this tiny little perfect flicker appeared. Baby’s perfect little heartbeat. I just sat there and cried with relief. The tech continued to take pictures of baby and measurements of what she needed. After the ultrasound was finished, I cleaned up and waited for the Nurse Practitioner (who happened to be a friend of my mom) to come in and talk to me. When she came in, she gave me and my mom both awesome, warm hugs. She explained that I had a subchorionic hemorrhage(similar to a blood blister between the uterine wall and the implantation site)—mine was small and had likely already healed since my bleeding had stopped the same day that It started. She did explain that baby was “measuring small”, so that I would need to come in a couple of weeks for another ultrasound to make sure that baby was growing along with some common lab work. This was welcomed---I would be able to see my sweet little baby blob again soon!! As the weeks drew on , I went to my extra ultrasound appointment where my baby was growing just fine. I had gotten blood work done that I still hadn’t gotten the results to. About 2 weeks later at my follow-up appointment from my ultrasound, my results were finally in. The OB had discussed that my baby was measuring a little small and that I had low-progesterone that I would need to take medicine for. She wrapped up her end of the appointment (about 5 minutes from start to finish) and asked me if I had any questions. Of course I did! I wanted to know what it meant that my baby was measuring small? Why did I have low progesterone? She explained that my dates were likely off and moved my due date back to the next week. She told me that progesterone was the hormone that keeps my placenta healthy, but that I needed to “chill out” because everything would be “fine”. She continued to say that I would need to supplement with prescription progesterone until I was 12 weeks pregnant and we would re-assess the situation at that time. I started to talk to her about the anxiety I was having about losing my baby (since after all, they DID tell me that my baby was measuring small and that I was low on the hormone that quite literally is my baby’s lifeline). Her response? “Girl, I can tell this is going to be a long pregnancy for you and me if you don’t chill out”. “OH WHY THANK YOU---I HADN’T THOUGHT ABOUT CHILLING OUT YET.”. I didn’t say that—but believe me, I wanted to. If there is one thing that people like me (with anxiety) want you to know is that when you tell us to chill out/calm down/it’s going to be fine, it in fact, doesn’t help at all. It was at that moment, I knew that I could not have my baby in this hospital. Not with these doctors, or these horribly rude staff. No way.

I started researching alternatives to hospitals almost as soon as I got into my car after my appointment. I spent the next 4 weeks researching. Home birth was automatically out of the question due to the ignorant laws in Illinois and there were no free-standing birth centers over in Illinois that were close enough that we could drive to. I had decided to go back to my old OB office for my next appointment because I was seeing my mom’s friend, the nurse practitioner at this appointment, at this time, I was about 13 weeks along. I spoke with her about what had happened with the previous OB that I saw—I told her my plans for a low-intervention birth and how I was already not feeling heard or supported here. At the time, she was in midwifery school and was doing clinical at a free-standing birth center ran by nurse midwives that was a little over an hour away from our home. She thought that we should check it out and thought that It was a great fit for our wants and needs for our pregnancy and birth. I went home, called and made the appointment without even thinking twice. About 2 weeks later, my husband and myself went to our appointment, not really knowing what to expect. We walked into this little white building. We were greeted as soon as we walked into the door by a sweet lady. She asked us if we wanted anything to drink or a snack while we waited to be seen by the midwife and then directed us to the waiting area which were 2 big, comfy couches. They had essential oils diffusing and an overall calming environment. About 5 minutes later, our midwife came to get us to take us to our exam room, which was a small room with a small couch and comfy chair and a small desk. She was one of the sweetest women I have ever come into contact with (still to this day). She asked us how we were feeling, she asked us about our families and our family plans. Our first appointment was 45 minutes long. I talked with her about my anxieties, my fears about a low-intervention birth, we asked her probably about 1000 questions about births and what happens in an emergency and so on. She never once made us feel rushed or made me feel like my questions were silly. She took her time and answered each question thoroughly and confidently. She told us about her history as a labor nurse and now nurse-midwife and family and why natural birth was her passion. This was important to us. We wanted to feel like we were part of a family. Like we weren’t just a number, like we actually mattered. When we left our appointment, we knew that we had made the right decision. We spent the next 25 weeks learning. Reading books—any natural birth book I could get my hands on, relaxation methods. We took an out of hospital intense natural birth class with a local doula/childbirth educator. In our class we learned so much including what to look for in a supportive provider, common hospital interventions, medications commonly given during birth, teaching my husband how to be a supportive provider, the hormone process during pregnancy and birth, how to prepare and nourish my body for birth, how to write a birth plan. She knew her stuff, and that was why we decided to hire her to be our doula. At this point in my pregnancy, I was feeling great. Now, all that was left was to have our baby.

We were 100% prepared to go past our due date of January 2nd, 2016. I continued working my job as a floor nurse and one day my manager had asked if I had everything ready for baby, as my due date was 4 days away. I remember saying, “No girl, I still have plenty of time!”. Although we did have everything that we needed for baby, I told myself that I would at the very least go to grocery store and get some groceries before the New Year’s crowds started. As I left work, I ran to the grocery store and stocked up, I went home, put all of it away, re-arranged my kitchen and cleaned my entire house from top to bottom, as well as making a huge pot of spaghetti for dinner (pasta was one of my favorites during my pregnancy). I finally sat down and ate and fell asleep!

Waking up 3 days before my due date with contractions was not at all what I expected. We called the midwife on-call and told her that I was having a “cramp-like” contraction almost every30 minutes -1 hour on the nose. She told me to take a bath, drink some water and try to go back to sleep. I knew that this is the most logical thing to do, but I was SO EXCITED and ready to meet my baby. I called my boss to let her know that I wouldn’t be back at work. I got ALL THE THINGS ready and waited. My contractions weren’t really changing. We decided that my husband should go ahead and go to work and that I would just rest at home. I tried to continue about my normal day. At about 8 am, I noticed that I wasn’t really having contractions anymore. I decided to take a nap and just trust that my body knew exactly what it was doing. As the day wore on, I packed and re-packed our bags, played with our dogs, did some laundry, etc. My husband came home and we carried on our evening, ate supper and went to sleep.

I was woken up at about 1am with painful contractions about every 30 minutes apart. I tried to go back to sleep, but it seemed like every time I would fall back asleep, I would have another painful contraction. I finally decided to get up at around 3am to take a bath. When my bath was over, I got back in bed, but something just felt different. I was super uncomfortable (which I had not been my entire pregnancy up until this point) and couldn’t find a comfortable spot in bed. I decided to get up and go sit in the living room. I sat and watched TV for about 2 hours before my husband woke up. During that time, the contractions continued to come at random intervals and although they were quite intense, they weren’t really getting any closer together. I was upset and frustrated and tired. We decided that it would be better for josh to go ahead and go to work to finish up his job and that my mom would come over to hang out with me. We spent the day lounging around and watching TV. My contractions would come 10 minutes apart, then 20 minutes apart, then 40 minutes apart and back to 10 minutes apart and so on. At this point, I was feeling defeated. I knew that these were 100% the real deal, but why weren’t they changing? I remember telling my mom “if these are painful now, I can’t imagine what they’ll feel like when I’m in active labor. I don’t know if I can do this”. She talked me down—she reminded me why I wanted to do this and why it was important to me. She reminded me that this is what my body was made for, and that I should trust it. I had been in touch with my doula and she had suggested diffusing some essential oils, drinking some red raspberry leaf tea and trying to relax my way through this early labor phase. She reminded me that the early phase of labor is often the longest one and even though my contractions weren’t getting any closer together, there was definitely progress being made. The day turned to night again. Another night of tossing and turning, all while contractions began to set into a pattern. About 10 minutes apart, lasting about 30-45 seconds in length—and I was only feeling them in my lower back. I remember not wanting to wake Josh up, but it was also getting to the point that I was not able to walk or talk while having a contraction, some of them I was even having to moan through. I decided that it would be best for me to go and take another bath. Listen, they don’t call water the “midwives epidural” for nothing. IT WAS HEAVENLY. When I was in the tub, my contractions would space out just enough for me to get some rest in between. As the night wore on and the sun came up (by this time it was Friday , January 1st)I was so exhausted, but also knew that active labor was drawing closer and closer. Josh woke up and had been talking with my mom. They knew that it was important for them to encourage me to get things moving a little, so they had thought maybe going to lunch and to the mall to walk around was a good idea. I obliged. We decided to go get lunch at Applebee’s. At this point, my contractions were still about 10 minutes apart, but they started to last about 60 seconds in length! Once we got to Applebee’s, something changed and my contractions started coming about 6-7 minutes apart. I could barely order my lunch. It was hard for me to concentrate. We rushed back to my mom’s house after lunch (which I barely ate) and Josh decided it would be a good time to call and update the midwives. At this point, contractions were hard! I had to vocalize through them to cope—I could no longer stand when having one. At one point, I remember I literally felt paralyzed during one. It was so hard to do anything other than breathe through them. Thankfully, I had been practicing conscious breathing and multiple relaxation techniques during my pregnancy, so I felt prepared for what was coming. As josh was calling the midwives, they heard 1 contraction over the phone and decided that it would be best for us to go ahead and come in, at the very least to assess and see how I was doing. We thankfully already had our bags with us, we just needed to get on the road. The ride was terrible. I was not able to sit during most of the ride, due to the contractions in my lower back. Josh was having to give counter pressure during every contraction. The ride was long and grueling. Thankfully, it was New Years day and there weren’t many people on the road. We got to the birth center at about 6pm. It had just gotten dark and I was the only person in the center, which was awesome! We walked into our birthing suite and it was beautiful. Our own queen-sized bed, our own tub and bathroom. After a couple of contractions, my midwife decided that it would be beneficial to go ahead and check me, with my consent, to see if I was dilated at all. She checked and I was 6 centimeters!!!! What?! How was that even possible?!? I mean, I knew that I had been working hard, but in no way did I think that I was already that far dilated! My midwife assured me that I was doing a wonderful job and that my baby would be here soon! We called my doula at this point, as I was having a hard time coping during contractions. I had bounced back and forth between the idea of having a water birth the entirety of my pregnancy. I always thought the idea was awesome, but I just wasn’t sure what I was going to feel like in the moment. Not as soon as my midwife left the room, I decided right then and there that I would be staying in the water for the rest of the time that I was in labor (haha). It felt so amazing. When I would get in, I was able to relax and my contractions weren’t as intense and my back didn’t hurt near as bad (I was also able to sleep in between). The next hours are honestly a blur—my doula arrived and encouraged me to get out of the tub and walk around the room, use the restroom, eat a snack, sit on the birth ball, etc .At about 11pm, I requested to be checked again and found out that I was 8cm dilated. YESSS!!! Progress!!! We continued...in the tub, out of the tub, on the ball, bathroom, snack, repeat. This continued until around 6am when the next midwife came onto her shift. I requested to be checked via the “purple line method”. Still around 8cmwe tried a few different recommendations that my doula had, but honestly I was just flat out exhausted. I had been contracting consistently at this point over 20 hours. I was DONE, but my low intervention, medication free birth that I had planned was still extremely important to me. At 8am I requested the real deal cervical check. Still 8cm. I was devastated, but baby was great. I requested my water to be broken, hoping that might just be the little nudge that my body needed. I immediately felt my contractions get stronger. We decided to get in the shower for some relief (the tub at this point was not helping, only counter-pressure). After the shower, I laid in bed. I could barely move from pure exhaustion. How was I going to get this baby out of me? My midwife had discussed with me that it was very possible that baby was posterior, considering the amount of time I had been in active labor. We tried some different positions for the next couple of hours. I finally was starting to feel the urge to push. Each wave that would come over my body, my baby would descend further and further. I knew it was time. One last push and HE shot out! Literally! My midwife almost didn’t catch him! Our sweet little guy, Paxton was born on his due date January 2nd, 2016 at 2:54PMweighing in at 7 beautiful pounds and 19.5 inches. It was quite literally the most intense, wildest ride of my life bringing him into this world. Once he was born, we noticed that he was asynclitic (meaning that his head was tilted to one side) and had one of his hands up by his face. This explained why my labor was so long and intense! We had our first couple of hours as a family of 3 resting in bed all snuggled in together. Although Pax’s birth was long, he was extremely healthy and so was I, so we got to go home about 5 hours after he was born. If there is one thing that I tell expectant parents now, is that you 100% invest in yourself for your birth. Hire that doula. Read all the books. Take that childbirth education class (not the hospital based one), learn about your body—learn about the birth process, make sure that your provider is 100% supportive of your vision for your birth. Make sure they LISTEN to you and your concerns—they are valid and you deserve that respect. It is worth it—YOU are worth it. I was, and still am so grateful that I chose a supportive team to be with my at my son’s birth. Their support is the reason that I was able to have the low-intervention birth that I wanted. Shortly after my son’s birth I quit my job that I had been unhappy at for sometime. I decided to begin my studies to become a doula. I finished my training in 2017 and have been working full-time as a birth doula for a little over 2 years. It is one of the most rewarding, amazing things aside from being a Momma. I hope to bring awareness to my little town. I want families to know that they deserve to be heard and that their concerns about their pregnancies are valid ones. I want them to know that if they want a medication-birth, that I’ll be there to hold their hand, or if they want an epidural birth that I’ll be there to hold their hand. In the end, I want all families to have support and respect.